Me And My Twin Kirstie Alley

I do realise that I said that I was going to keep this thing up to date, but life is crazy, so my apologies.  D has been gone for three weeks now and I'm finding that I have very little free time to blog... most of my free time is taken up by Pinterest cleaning.

Let me tell you a little bit about this quarter at XXX University.  It's winter quarter which means that it's cold as hell and not fun.  This quarter I've embraced the buses on campus because I'm over walking everywhere.  Maybe if I didn't have to wear snow pants to walk around campus it would be different, but I'm not a fan of snow pants so I take the bus.  I hear lots of conversations on the bus, but one from this week was really entertaining.

This girl was complaining to her friend about how her boyfriend (Johnny) decided that they were going to have dinner the night before at Jersey Mikes (a sandwich shop that this girl hates) and they didn't get there until like 5 minutes until 10 and they closed at ten.  After they got their food the people that worked there told them they couldn't eat there because they were about to close (duh) and she was "furious" because she had ordered a fountain soda.  She would have never ordered a fountain soda if she knew she had to eat in the car.  Then they went to the movies and she refused to bring her fountain soda in from the car and Johnny wouldn't let her get another soda because she had wasted the one he already bought her by leaving it in the car.  She's so in love with Johnny and she hopes they get married.

Whaaaa??? 

A few things stand out to me here:

1.  Johnny sounds like a tool bag.  Who makes you eat somewhere that you hate?  Side note- I like Jersey Mikes and had it for dinner last night, this girl is obviously dumb.

2.  Who says fountain soda?  Who says soda?

2.  Has she never had a drink with a straw in the car before?

3.  Johnny wouldn't let her get another drink?  Who is this Johnny?

4.  She should definitely marry Johnny, he sounds like a catch and they're both obviously mature enough to handle a marriage.  She was hoping that maybe she could bring up the idea of marriage at her sorority's winter formal.  Good luck with that.

On another note, I've been hitting the gym this week.  I've decided it's time to not feel like pre-DWTS Kirstie Alley anymore.

We're basically twins.

So as I'm sitting here writing this I can barely lift my arms and every time I move it feels like my "abs"... if you can call them that... are going to rip in half.  Good times.  My goal is to lose 500 pounds by the time D gets home.  Yes, I do realize that I don't have that much weight on my body but I figure I'll aim high.

Ok, so we're up to date again. I'll try harder next time I swear.

Winter Is Here. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

This week has been a rough one.  C is not adjusting to this deployment transition very well and she's making life at our house really difficult.  I'm trying to be extra patient with her (which for me is like most peoples zero patience level.... I'm not a patient person) and we started talking this morning about verbally expressing what emotions we're having- frustration, anger, sadness, anxiousness- rather than just going into meltdown mode.  Meltdown mode has been our baseline this week. Not cool.  I don't really know that her behavior is because of the deployment, she tends to be a little more up and down with her moods anyway, but I'm assuming this has something to do with it.

C's 6th birthday is coming up and my friend B posted a link to a living social deal on facebook for a ridiculously cheap birthday package at a local dance studio. I suggested it to C and she says, "no, I'm having a sewing party." Whaaaa????? What is a sewing party?? I'm imagining a bunch of five and six year olds (and one three year old, G) with needles. Does that sound fun to you? How many band aids would I have to buy for this party? I'm still working on changing her mind on this one. Although, B is an amazing party planner so if C does manage to convince me to go along with the sewing party I'm counting on B to help me decorate in a super cute needle and band aid theme. Wish me luck, both with her mood swings and with the birthday business.

In other news, it's snowing today.  Gross.  I'm not a fan of winter and all her cruel jokes, like snow and ice and wind that cuts your face off.  There is nothing worse than walking around one of the largest colleges in the US when it's 7 degrees.  You think you'll duck behind a building to escape the blowing snow and then BAM you walk into a wind tunnel.  It's just not my cup of tea. You should see what I wear to my classes, I will wear anything to stay warm, I don't care what people think of me.  Jeans tucked into snow boots with a sweatshirt circa 2002?  Yup!  Mittens, neon green scarf and an umbrella to block the wind when it's not even raining?  Sign me up!  Looking nice... or just normal... is not a priority for me in the winter, a big apology to all of my fellow students who are forced to see me every day.  I'll try harder in the spring.  Maybe.

I'll Kill You, Skype.

No seriously, I will.

After the old computer drank the wine and I got the new one up and running D and the girls and I were all ready for some good old fashioned family Skyping.  Skype was working great on the old-new computer, we tested it out before he left, so it should work right on the NEW-new computer, right?

Wrong.

I get a stupid Windows error message every time I log in, and then the system closes.  Every time it happens I get all worked up and mad and end up eating a bunch of chocolate covered cherries.  Not cool, Skype.  Not cool.  I decided today was the day that we figure out why my computer and Skype are fighting. 

I have a membership to a super secret members only technology club (called AT&T tech support) so I called them.  They took remote access of my computer, and probably stole all of my bank account numbers, and worked on it for two and a half hours.  They ran every scan known to man and they say my computer is good to go, it's a Skype issue. 

I sort of find this hard to believe because it worked on the exact same wine computer, but whatev.  I actually felt bad for Gil, the AT&T guy.  The conversation (via online chat) went something like this:

Me-  Thanks for spending so much time working on it.

Gil-  I'm so sorry I've failed you, Mrs B.

Me-  It's ok, I'll take it up with Skype I guess.

Gil-  We tried our hardest and failed.

Me-  Seriously, thanks for spending so much time on it, I really appreciate it.  It's going to be ok.

Gil-  Sometimes even when we do all we can, we still are failures.

Me-  For real, Gil.  Thanks.  Please don't hurt yourself.

So after I talked Gil down off the ledge I went on and downloaded an older version of Skype that appears to be working.  If not, you'll hear my screams of aggravation later when D and I try to Skype.

On a lighter note, tomorrow marks one week since D left.  Every week that he's away is one week closer to coming home, so I'm happy to mark another day off of the calendar!  Bring on Tuesday! 

Seriously, though, Skype really needs to work.  Enough is enough.

Let's Bring This Up To Date, Shall We?

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, blah blah blah blahhhhhhhh.

It's been far too long since I've blogged, I missed Christmas and New Years and here we are, well into January.  Let's just say I've been a bit, um...busy.  Here's a little taste of what's been happening in my life the past month.

1. School.  Going into finals I was sitting with a D average in one class and pretty sure I was going to do about the same in my *&%$ foreign language, too.  I had a FIFTEEN PAGE paper to write (I'm not as young as I used to be and those papers don't come flying out of my ass like they used to) and finals to take.  I asked for an extension on my paper and got it, I didn't have to turn in my paper until after the final.  Yay for me.  Then came the day of my finals and......

2. The car accident.  See below.

Just FYI, my car is the one that isn't the Mercedes SUV.  In case you were wondering.

On my way to take my finals a Russian mail order bride smashed into me and ripped my engine in half.  The car was totaled and I had to go to the hospital for xrays and stuff.  So we were down a car and I had a sprained wrist and burns from the airbag, and I had to reschedule all of my finals.  I'm soooo glad I didn't have the girls with me, I would have had to throw down with the Russian.  I did end up the quarter with A's and B's, though, so I'm happy with that.

3.  Christmas, and all that goes along with it.  It was a great Christmas, I have zero pictures because I needed a new camera and refused to continue taking crappy pictures with my old one.  I really showed the old camera who's boss, it sat on my desk and I have no photos.  Fail.  We all got everything we wanted and more, although I'm pretty peeved that C tells everyone her favorite gift was the teddy bear.  Of course this bear was an afterthought and cost me $4 at Target two days before Christmas.  Of course her favorite gift wouldn't be the beyond expensive American Girl doll (with accessories) that she asked for for months.  But whatever, Merry Christmas and enjoy your $4 bear.  I got my new camera, tons of shoes (all of which I needed...ish), a new laptop and much more.  We were very blessed.

4. NYE.  Every year we have a princess party for the kids on NYE.  We started this tradition three or four years ago when we realized that we coulnd't find a babysitter and it would probably be years before we could go out and party again, we might as well have some fun with the kids.  The king (D) makes a delicious fancy dinner (fish sticks and peas, gag) for the princesses while the queen (me) helps them get dressed and puts makeup on them... this is a huge deal.  Then I announce their presence to the king and he serves them a candlelit dinner with milk in wine glasses.  It's very fancy.  After they go to bed we make a really good dinner for ourselves and watch a movie (think Super Troopers) then watch the ball drop.

This year was a little bit different, though.  We did the princess stuff for the kids, but niether one of us was much in the spirit of celebrating because....

5. We started the deployment.  A couple of days after our NYE celebration D left.  Needless to say, it was a very hard day filled with many tears.  He'll come home on leave at some point, but won't be home for good until this time next year.  We've had a tough week, some days are better than others, and some minutes are better than others.  This is not our first deployment as a married couple, but our first since we've had kids.  It's a very different experience with the kids, not harder or easier, but different.  We're making it through, though.

The night he left I was so tired, I didn't sleep at all the night before and had cried off and on all day, I was physically and emotionally exhausted.  I poured myself a nice healthy glass of red wine and sat down on the couch with my brand new laptop.  You see where this is going.

6.  The laptop drank the wine.  It was ruined.  I was hysterical.  D was on a layover and I was able to text him and tell him what happened, I think I managed to accurately portray my hysterics in the texts because he texted back with "Love you, don't stress.  Buy a new one right now, I don't care how much it is."  This is not a phrase normally uttered by a husband, 'Buy a new one right now, I don't care how much it is', and I didn't ask questions.  I ordered a new one immediately and it was shipped next day and I'm typing on it now.  There will be no liquids within a ten foot radius of the laptop at all times.

That brings me to today.  My friends and family have been amazing this week.  My bestie R came over the day that D left (which was her birthday) with wine, Oreos and kleenex.  You really can't ask for more than that.  I can't thank her enough for giving up her birthday to cry with me.  My parents and R have watched the girls about a million times in the last five days, my neighbors have brought us dinner and a coconut cream pie- holla!, and taken my trash to the curb on trash day, and my good friend B had us over for a playdate and dinner last night.  I'm very lucky to have a great support system, something that many people don't have.

I'm going to try really hard to keep up with my blogging this year.  I've really slacked the last couple of months and I need to keep it going, it keeps me sane and I need an outlet for my bitterness and sarcasm.  I'm not going to post my blog entries to facebook anymore because I don't want everyone in the facebook friend world knowing what's up with my business (pronounced bidness) so you'll have to take it upon yourself to get off your lazy butt and read without me spoonfeeding it to you.  Sorry. 

Peace out, and happy Saturday.  Now let's watch some NFL.